A cross purpose is a physical or mental block you that keeps you from realizing your goals and dreams. Cross purposes are quirky little habits that are sometimes funny once encountered, but sometimes they can inspire pain and guilt instead of giggles. Cross purposes are secret sabotage plans you set out for yourself, pranks to your person that completely catch you off guard. 


Maybe you anger over how rude your kids treat you even though you treat them with love and respect, only to find yourself rolling your eyes and "uh-huhing" your mom while talking to her on the phone. Maybe you made a commitment to exercise, signed yourself up for the gym, and even meal prepped; but you decided NOT to buy appropriate footwear, and now every time you walk, its punishment for your feet, legs, and hips. Do you eat hamburgers while talking about your next diet?  Contacting an ex to tell them that you are through with them is also a silly little cross purpose. Opening up a savings account with a monthly fee even though you live paycheck to paycheck, pay more attention!


These metaphysical oxymorons go a little deeper than silly humanness. You are slowing and blocking your growth with these actions. You can stop, you just have to recognize what you are doing. Take something that you feel held back by and ask it questions. One customer of mine, could not get over her ex. She had given it time, tried dating other people, diving into work projects, and exercising; but every once in a while, there he was, is her thoughts and dreams. She'd burned him in the purple bonfire, pictured him in a bubble to watch him float away, drawn him on a mental chalkboard and then erased him, but there they were, thoughts of him and his perfect shoulders. So we asked her higher self, why he was still here, and then we found him. He was in a department store credit card she had used to outfit herself for his sisters wedding. $15 a month payments for 5 more months? Get rid of it now! He was in her phone contacts, he popped up on her facebook feed, the dreamcatcher that was over her bed had been made by materials they collected over a romantic weekend. What was really going on here? 

The truth was that her heart wasn't really ready to let go. Her mind knew it was time to move on, but the heart needed her to dedicate a little more energy to the matter. We cleared her energy around never going anywhere fancy. We cleared him and countless other people from her contact list and cleared around losing all her friends because she had lost him. We also added to the dreamcatcher to reset its energy. She wasn't holding on to him at all? She was holding on to experiences of him which she had fooled herself into thinking were him. In her case, her cross purposes were showing her that she needed more dancing, and less mental clutter, and were showing up in the form of sexy shoulders on a man she used to date. 

Perhaps those shoes that pinch are trying to get you to find a more comfortable path in life. Perhaps your disorganization comes from you not living your purpose - so you sabotage yourself to pay attention. Whatever your cross purpose is find it and talk to it, you might be surprised at what you find. 

How to start trusting yourself in three simple steps. Whenever you find yourself in need of making a decision. Do you automatically think to yourself: "Whatever I decide is going to be the best decision for me?" If you don't then you are suffering from a debilitating disease called Self Doubt. Self doubt afflicts many, and there are numerous ways to catch the bug. Today, we concentrate on the solution, in three, simple steps. 
Step One: Learn to love yourself unconditionally. Once you learn how to love yourself, you will take care to always do what is best for you. You will naturally know what decisions will lead towards more happiness and which will lead to needing a good cry to get over it. Start loving yourself today. When you are getting ready for your day, take the time to look at yourself in the mirror, and compliment yourself on something amazing that gives you confidence. Thank your teeth while you brush them, infuse your hair with love as you style it. 

Watch how you talk to yourself. Do you call yourself names and abuse yourself when you do something "wrong?" Do you call yourself stupid, refer to yourself as bitchy, and agonize over what is wrong with you? Stop. Be nice, generous and loving to yourself. Once you begin to treat yourself well, you will naturally avoid situations and behaviors which hurt or harm you. 
Step Two: Take back your Power. Somewhere along the ways someone made you believe that knowledge is somehow outside of yourself. You were taught to "be humble." Fake wise people taught you to "be careful what you wish for." Learn which of your beliefs are crap stories, and which of your beliefs propel you towards becoming a better person. Your parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, childhood heroes, and everybody else who helped shape your life are probably awesome people. But their hang ups and limitations are theirs not yours. If your best friend believes that men are scum, you can empathize with her lack of trust in half of our species, but there is no need to take on the belief as your own. 

What do you believe? Does it align with loving yourself? If it doesn't, it might be time to reconsider the belief. Why vest yourself in something that does not serve you?
Step Three: Trust your gut. Learn how to ask your body "true" or "not true." Your body is a natural truth detector, use it to your advantage. Whenever a decision arises ask yourself: "Is this for my highest good?" Does the statement resonate as true, or untrue? Follow your gut. 

Do you have a situation that no matter how much you meditate on, you just can't get a "straight" answer? Consider a Tarot Consultation with me. $15 for a live 15 minute call, or $5 for an email response through Etsy. 


    Metzli is an intuitive tarot reader. She practices through her Etsy Shop.


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